STONE DEAF AND EVERYTHING

by DAVID HALLAMSHIRE

IS NOW BACK IN PRINT!! SEE BELOW FOR DETAILS.

Let me tell you a bit about this book now that you're here. "Stone Deaf" (as I call it) has quite a quirky history.

Stone Deaf was a follow up book, to The Bedsit Survival Manual, published by Ebury Press. Ebury did the book deal, the book was printed (10,000 copies) and everything looked great. And then, the very month that my book was going to be put into the shops, Ebury Press were taken over by Century Hutchinson.  Which meant that the entire sales force of Ebury were made redundant, because Century already had their own sales force. Which meant that all the people from Ebury who were supposed to be selling my book into the shops, didn't really give a damn (and who can blame them). Which meant that only about 1000 books got into the shops in the first place.

And then, the accountants at Century Hutchinson said, "Let's have a clear out of all the books that aren't selling." So they dumped the entire stock of Stone Deaf on the remainder market only four months after it was published, (in breach of contract I found out later.) And so, only four months after the great launch my book was now available at half price in most good remainder bookshops four weeks before Christmas......whereby it completely sold out!

So that was that, you might think.

But then dear reader, a strange quirk of fate did come my way. Four YEARS later!....Four years later a radio D.J. on a show buried deep into the night on MW radio, rang me up after tracking me down. His producer had found my book in a second hand bookshop and thought it was very funny. Would I go in for an interview and some light hearted banter? I pointed out that the book was out of print and dead long ago, but then thought, "What the hell" and went to see him in Manchester.

The guy I met was called Mark Radcliffe and his side kick was Mark Riley. We had a chat and a laugh and after the chat and laugh we decided we could maybe serialise Stone Deaf on their show if I wrote the scripts for it. And then, much to my joy, and theirs, "Mark and Lard" got a job on BBC Radio One! It was a late night show which became known as The Graveyard Shift.

So I wrote the scripts, Mark and Lard acted out the parts and everyone was happy. And because of this, What With Being Stone Deaf and Everything became a sort of cult comedy book, in a culty comedy way and was even repeated on Radio One a year later. (And yet you STILL couldnt actually buy it anywhere.) Incidentally, if you remember the Graveyard shift from the early 90's I also wrote The Bedsit Survival Manual, The Alien's Dictionary, most of The Pathological News and at least half of the Dorricot Files.

And so we now come to the present day.

I have rewritten, updated, polished and made immaculate, the manuscript for Stone Deaf, and flogged it round the publishers with absolutely no luck. Yet even today I still get emails and letters from folk who want a copy of this "classic" (their words) and can't find it anywhere. That's because it isn't anywhere. I have 4 copies and I'm hanging onto them mate (sorry).

IMPORTANT UPDATE! PLEASE READ THIS!

"What With Being Stone Deaf and Everything" is now available on the internet under the shortened title "Stone Deaf and Everything". It is bigger, better and has brand new material never seen before.

Simply go to www.lulu.com/Hallamshire.

Thank you thank you thank you.