The X-Files:  Episode Eighty Three.  Series Two Hundred

INT.DARK ROOM. NIGHT

MULDER AND SCULLY ENTER A DARK ROOM.  THEY IMMEDIATELY TAKE OUT VERY DIM TORCHES WHICH. FOR NO APPARENT REASON, HAVE A BLUE FILTER.  STRANGE MUSIC PLAYS.  FOR NO APPARENT REASON BUT BOY IS IT TENSE.  THEY ENTER THE ROOM.  THE EFFECT SHOULD BE THAT THEY ARE BOTH VERY TENSE.  MULDER STOPS. CLOSE UP OF SHOCKED EXPRESSION.  SCULLY NOTICES IT.

SCULLY:  What is it?

MULDER:  Oh my God!

SCULLY:  What?

MULDER:  Don't you see?  Look? It's a light switch.

SCULLY:  I see what might be a light switch if you were looking at it metaphysically. But as a scientist I can't condone that opinion.

MULDER:  But don't you see? All along we've been led to believe that we're really clever people, but neither of us has been clever enough to turn on a light when we enter a darkened room!

SCULLY:  I really think you should...

(MULDER FLICKS THE SWITCH)

WE SEE A VERY ORDINARY ROOM IN DAYLIGHT.  MULDER TURNS TO SCULLY AS THE REALISATION DAWNS THAT THE SERIES HAS GONE ON FOR THREE YEARS TOO LONG AND IS REALLY MIND NUMBINGLY TEDIOUS AND ANNOYING.

AND  THEN THEY DIE HORRIBLY.

END.

(Note to Producer:  It might be more satisfying if they don't enter the room and just die horribly anyway.). 

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